Creative Commons License
Where the stuff on this blog is something i created it is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License so there are no requirements to attribute - but if you want to mention me as the source that would be nice :¬)

Sunday, 14 December 2014

the @OurCofE this week asked for @C_of_e typos in services – here’s a summary

ht @PeterWilcox 1564 via @paulbayes & see below for original tweet

The recent Guest tweeter at @OurCofE was @paulargooder - speaker and writer on the New Testament; Theologian in Residence for the Bible Society; co-author of Love Life Live Advent.

As she explained in a tweet - "Nudged by the excellent @FictionFox to enjoy my final 2 days of tweeting for @OurCofE" Paula requested people's favourite church typos.

I've pasted those I could find into a summary below and will add others as and when I can find them

  Allow me to start the bidding on best Church typos - on our wedding service my husband nearly put 'Deep his wisdom, padding thought'

 Read your Bible, pray every day, if you want to throw.'

 "Because there is none other that fightest against us but only Thou O God"

 Pres 2 Deacon "The Lord be in your heart and on your hips that you may worthily proclaim...

   wedding order of service had 'be still for the golly of the Lord'

 "there are varieties of gits but the same Spirit"

last line of "old rugged cross" - "and exchange it some day for a clown" at a funeral. Black biro used to fix

A colleague tells me of a dictated Order of Service: 'We commit these ashes to the elephants'

  I have pages of note from theological lecture on mission die. (Missio dei)

 MPrayer: say "...may the light of your presence, O God, set our farts on fire with love for you" once and you're lost.

 and of course there is Gladly, my cross-eyed bear

  2001 communion service: We prayed for those who are working among the poo.

 in deeper Reverend Sprays (last line, first verse of Dear Lord & Father of Mankind)

   'it easier for a camel to go through the knee of an idol'.

  My mother as a child imagined a large fruit in Heaven 'thine be the kingdom, the pear and the glory...'

 I've seen somewhere (can't think where) 'His first avowed intent to be a penguin'

 at my confirmation we sang "God in three parsons, blessed Trinity"

 Father, Son and Hoky Spirit (autocorrected to Hokey).

 I'm very much enjoying these C of E typos. Let me offer you 'The redeeming wok of God'.

 the three parsons of the Trinity

therevsteve There was once a reading from "Philistines" on the notice sheet when I was a curate...
 The Apostles' Greed

FictionFox  @FictionFox Someone's just told me this one: 'The meeting will be gin with prayer.

 'Jesus Chris is waiting' hurry up Jesus!

 · The groom now takes the bride's hind in his...

 · Liverpool core group rather enjoyed this (h/t ) >> ”

  And there was a friend's wedding where we sang Thine be the Glory and declared 'death hath lost its string'!

 b2dac 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold is thy name

OurCofE 'On earth as it is in devon'

FictionFox accidental church spoonerisms also great fun. 'They shall mount up on ings like weagles.'

revgpp Once a funeral director printed Love Divine's lst vse - 'Finnish then thy new creation.'#scandinavian

PrayingAnglican my friend at college once said 'kneekly mealing'

HannahCleugh Favourite mis-speak in evensong "Endure thy ministers with righteousness"
ReverendAlly Last week we had 'Our Father, who rat in heaven' - led to interesting discussion about animal souls!


LosTheSkald we were encouraged at a baptism to 'reject Stan, and all his works, and all his empty promises'. Hope I never meet him

PhilipAStewart  spoken rather than in print - 'The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly flavoured!" '

d1sc1ple In a wedding, from Shine Jesus shine - As we gaze on your kingly brightness, May our faces display your illness

Ally Barrett‏ @ReverendAlly In 'The King of love my shepherd is' - we had 'Thy unicorn grace bestoweth...'

David Newsome‏ @newsome_david Carol service typo: "Risen with heating in his wings"

PeteWilcox1564 Yep, I once typed 'Get thee behind me, Stan'. Horrible man.

OurChurchofEngland‏ @OurCofE one of the best typos I ever saw on a carol sheet was thus spake the seraph and forthwith appeared a shining thong'

Catherine Fox ‏@FictionFox 'Give his angels charge at last, in the file the tares to cast.'

Mike Haslam‏ @revmikehaslam 'Away in a manager' The dubious joys of spell check!

Maggie Swinson @MaggieSwinson I still think mine has to rank highly. 'A hymn is sung and the offerings of the people are collected and resented'

Raquelita‏ @raquelita_e  I saw '...yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. men.'   this yr. My friend whispered 'patriarchy!'

Michael Jones ‏@MichaelJone5   Not typo but as a lad it was some time before I realised that at the end of a reading we didn't say, "Thanks Peter God"

margaret johnson‏ @johnsonmahj our hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone

Chris Upton ‏@Turkeyplucker From death's dead string thy servants free.

Andrew Graystone  The opening words of a service at our church last month were "Let's all close our minds..."

gittite  Has anyone yet mentioned 'let angels prostate fall'?

PeterNimmo1 If you're still on mis-speaks- lots of children in Scotland think the carol's called A Wean in a Manger

tall_rich I've seen several service sheets inviting me to Evensnog. Resultant services less fulfilling than promised.

StephCouvela in fairness to share one of my own, once in open prayer I thanked God from the heart of my bottom.

And one from our pew sheet yesterday - on Gaudete Sunday we tell jokes while waiting for God!

@FictionFox @OurCofE I have seen a PowerPoint where the preacher meant to describe the church as an organism... But got the wrong word!

and added afterwards from comments received .....

I once sang in the responses at evensong: 'that peach which the world cannot give'. (from Rowan)

When I was very small I thought the third person of the Trinity was the Harry Ghost. (from  Anne)


  1. I once sang in the responses at evensong: 'that peach which the world cannot give'.

    1. :¬) Ta for that Rowan - I've added it to the post

  2. When I was very small I thought the third person of the Trinity was the Harry Ghost.

    1. Ta for that Anne - I've added it to the post at the bottom