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Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, 1 August 2025
Saturday, 2 September 2023
Wednesday, 22 February 2023
False stories around Nicola Bulley - will any media be held accountable?
Following the discovery of Nicola Bulley's body the family released a statement.
In short it accuses the media of publishing lies, and social media of doing the same. Specifically the statement says Sky News and ITV ignored request for privacy. Finally it calls such behaviour out as appalling and says those who behaved in such a way need to be held accountable.
- Press & members of the public wrongly accused, misquoted and villified family and friends;
- They ran stories to sell papers and increase their own profiles;
- Sky News and ITV ignored our request for privacy, contacting us directly;
- This behaviour is appalling and they have to be held accountable;
And below is the family statement in full, issued following confirmation that her body had been recovered from the River Wyre.
Sadly the current situation in the UK means legal action may only be possible where publications/posts are defamatory, (caused or is likely to cause serious harm’ to individuals’ reputation) or invade privacy, or incite violence, hatred or terrorism. It is an offence to send a message over a public electronic communication network that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character. Also prohibited is electronic communication which is indecent, grossly offensive, or which is false, or which the sender believes to be false (if the purpose or one of the purposes of the sender is to cause distress or anxiety to the recipient).
In the UK regulators can take various actions but their powers seem limited.
Bulley family statement in full
"Our Family Liaison officers have had to confirm our worst fears today. We will never be able to comprehend what Nikki had gone through in her last moments and that will never leave us. We will never forget Nikki, how could we, she was the centre of our world, she was the one who made our lives so special and nothing will cast a shadow over that.
Our girls will get the support they need from the people who love them the most. And it saddens us to think that one day we will have to explain to them that the press and members of the public accused their dad of wrongdoing, misquoted and vilified friends and family. This is absolutely appalling, they have to be held accountable this cannot happen to another family.
We tried last night to take in what we had been told in the day, only to have Sky News and ITV making contact with us directly when we expressly asked for privacy. They again, have taken it upon themselves to run stories about us to sell papers and increase their own profiles. It is shameful they have acted in this way. Leave us alone now. Do the press and other media channels and so called professionals not know when to stop? These are our lives and our children's lives.
To those who genuinely helped and supported us, privately, we thank you. The community support in St Michael's, friends', neighbours and strangers has been nothing short of comforting and heart-warming.
Friends you know who you are. Thank you.
Our hearts truly break for others who have missing loved ones. Keep that hope alive. Finally, Nikki, you are no longer a missing person, you have been found, we can let you rest now. We love you, always have and always will, we'll take it from here xx."
Saturday, 22 October 2016
Thursday, 18 February 2016
Friday, 27 November 2015
Saturday, 19 July 2014
#hof2014 - household of faith conference - blog about 2nd day of conference
here is my post on the 1st day and here is my post on the 2nd day and here is my post on the 3rd day.
Below are my very partial cleaned up notes (partial because there were so many great ideas and quotes to note down I only got some of them down in writing).
Please comment to add to the notes if you want to.
Friday Day 2
Keynote 3 – Rev Dr John Westerhoff – the Christian life of
faith – naming goals for our educational ministry. As always John explained this was where his thinking was now - that it might change in future - and he was explaining his thinking to help us think through and develop ours.
A Christian lives a particular way of life informed from the
faith of one baptised (one included into the church which is the body of Christ on earth)
The only Jesus the world will see is us and we need to think through 3 characteristics of our christian life - 1) Faith, 2)
Character, 3) Consciousness (traditionally these were Beliefs, Right/Wrong and Experience - which mean different things)
Faith – how you perceive things/how you see others
and the world – how it is for you. Not rational ascent to a truth or law or experience. So what is faith?
- I give my love and loyalty and life and obedience to this
God I image here in the baptismal creed.
- I am betting my life on its truth – but this faith is an act
of trust.
- This is a covenant – not a
contract – so I have to offer whatever love demands (as God does to me).
- We are created for 1 purpose – only 1 for all – a vocation –
to grow in a deepening and loving relationship with God and therefore with our
true self and all other souls and nature.
It is what we are called to be – in community.
- In our baptismal vows we reject the power of evil in our
lives (and acknowledge we need God’s help to do this) and say we will adhere to
Christ (and so his church as his body in our time).
- Jesus was prepared to die so we will know how
much we are loved despite our sin.
- God
is present and active in human history and is about restoring to unity that
which is broken.
- The Holy Spirit comes
to give life, encourage us and move us.
- Redemption turns negatives into positives.
- God is the creator or all things, the
redeemer of all things, the perfecter of all things.
- The Apostles creed in Baptism is a series of
promises with implications for the ways we live life.
- We continue in the apostles teaching, we break
bread, we pray.
- We can’t be human on our own outside of relationships. Living in a faithful community we strive to
be the presence and action (grace) of God in the world
- We resist evil and when (not if)
we fail we repent so healing is possible.
John used a sailing analogy here. You are in a boat – wind (or the lack
of it) - alters your course from where you were trying to aim for. So you get off course and you may not realise that. Every now and then you check on your course using a compass and chart. And then adjust your setting so you are going where you originally wanted to get to. So an insight from this analogy is that we need to regularly critically reflect on our life - on our course.
- We
proclaim the good news in God and Christ – in all we say and do through peace
and harmony with the world in community.
- We live so others may know what is already true for them.
- We live so others may know what is already true for them.
- We seek and see Christ in all.
- The power of evil is
broken – we are liberated
- The reign of God is here – but is
also coming.
- We
need to die to things. Birth and death are part of life so for church change is a given.
Character - What are the character traits of a Christian – see Matthew’s
account of the beatitudes. Character is
how we are disposed to behave. If I
continue to behave this way - what will I become in the future – will I be happy
or ashamed of that?
-
Poor in spirit – depend on God
-
Mourn – troubled by sin
-
Meek – open minds
-
Hunger – for a deeper relationship with God
-
Merciful – empathy
-
Pure in heart – take action to love without expectation of return
-
Peacemakers – reconciliation
-
Persecuted – pay any price
- Religion is always danced before it is believed - Hoff #hof2014
Mary Hawes
Conciousness - how we nurture these character traits. Need to
reflect critically on ourselves, on what is going on around us and on the
possibility of the gospel. It values the
imagination over reason and an awareness of the Holy Spirit. Piety. Our
interior life.
- Consciousness to the gospel - imagination over reason - aware of Holy Spirit. Parish life is learning to live this way of life #hof2014
Nick Shepherd
To be a person fully is to be in relationship
After John’s keynote there were a number of seminars one of
which was by Lucy Moore on Messy Discipleship – understanding the ranges of
faiths in households and building on that reality. If you have notes on the
other seminars that were held and are willing to share them then please let me have them and
I’ll insert them into this post with a credit to you the contributor.
Lucy got us to think of images we might use to represent what a disciple is
– lover, athlete, a limb of a body, slave, mirror, soldier, sheep, fish,
partygoer, pilgrim, work in progress, loser – letting go, a spoke in a wheel, a
family member
We were then asked a series of questions about the image we had chosen
- What would
progression/moving on look like for that image?
- How would it look in a church?
Lucy commented that another useful question to ask is - How does your church help people grow as a disciple? Her observation was that people
rarely answer sermons - and that often their answer includes home based groups or friends
So how is the Messy Churches approach to Discipleship different? To start with its worth thinking trough how Messy Church is different - it's:
- Once a month
- Family not individual based
- Relationship building
- People are generally not christians - they are a way off commitment
- Children are significantly present
- there is a different learning emphasis
To get us thinking about how a Messy approach to discipleship might differ Lucy told us a story (or is it a parable?) roughly like the one below
This is the story of a family in a wilderness. Its a tough life to survive and keep the family together in the wilderness. One day the family see a tribe of people near an oasis. Our family aren’t sure whether to approach the
other tribe - as they think the tribe might be guarding the oasis. And if they are guarding it then will they share its resources? So our families' uncertainty about the tribe stops them from approaching the oasis - even though they need what it has. As it happens somebody from the tribe comes
over to the family and starts chatting to them.
The family learn that the oasis tribe is on a journey to a city. The
family decide to join the tribe on the journey to the city. As they walk with the tribe toward the city they
talk about what the city will be like.
Eventually they all arrive at the city. Initially some of the tribe and the family settle in the suburbs. Over time they get used to the limited offerings the suburb can give them - even though that offering is things they originally used to wish for when they were on the journey through the wilderness. Others of the tribe and family press on into the centre of the city. They discover the further riches the city centre has to offer in terms of pubs and theatres and other life enriching experiences.
Lucy then had a slide with a 4 box model (sorry! didn't get a pic - not quick enough!) where:
- the vertical scale was an Engel Scale (-10 ='s no spiritual knowledge, 0 ='s a christian, +4 ='s spiritual awareness)
- the horizontal scale was from Closed (on the left) to Open (on the right)
- Top LH box ='d cynical suburbia - so generally closed but can have some spiritual awareness or indeed be christian
- Lower LH box ='d desert - closed and low spiritual knowledge
- Top RH box ='d city - open and christian spiritual knowledge
- Bottom RH box ='d oasis - open but low spiritual knowledge
Lucy explained how one useful Messy Church team exercise was to think of a family and where they were when they started coming to Messy Church using the scale described above. And then to think about where the same family are now. Then to repeat this analysis on several different families - and then to use the insights gained to review the types of activities the Messy Church uses.
Lucy then showed us this slide in terms of thinking about how to (and how not to) roll into Messy Church an approach that grows disciples
Keynote 4 – Rev Dr John Westerhoff – Christians as a
household of faith and the body of christ – what does it mean to look like and
live in a Christian community of faith
- What we mean by family has changed over history – Tribe –
Extended family – Nuclear family.
- People marry later, they don’t have children by choice, some stay single, some are in
a gay relationship or marriage, some have been through divorce, some are unmarried.
- So if we talk about the family we are
probably excluding around a 1/3rd of our congregation
- Teach as Jesus taught – he went out looking for students and
then asked them to follow/observe/imitate him
- A community of faith can’t play the role of a family but it can be familiar
- Parents need help as much as
children do
- A community of faith has - a common story - common authority - and a common life together
A common
story
– the story in the book watership down is a picture of community
- how we approach the seasons – what about - instead of starting with
xmas and explaining the seasons that come after it in the light of xmas - that instead we started with good friday and
explained the seasons after it in the light of good friday - how would that change how we told the story?
- God has preserved us as a Christian people
despite the fact that we didn’t do anything to help
- How to do things to bring that story together
together - we all learn in different ways – so don't just always offer one way to learn - give some choice – even if you are only able to
do so some of the time
- Scriptures are myth (but not the modern meaning of myth - Myths are the only true stories there are as they point beyond
themselves to a reality of truth)
- How do we read and pray scripture rather than study it?
A common authority
- Catholic approach is scripture and tradition – have unity only if all accept that authority
- Protestant approach is all can interpret scripture
alone - this leads to no unity - so this is solved by literalism
- Anglican contribution = scripture, reason,
tradition - Interpret scripture through reason (intuitive and logical) - tradition = history of changing interpretations
A common life together
- Common rituals – humans are ritualistic beings – sports –
nature - art - hidden meanings - symbols - supported by the life of church. Think of the rituals in your service and how different approaches or sequencing may better realise the power of the ritual
- a Common life together....
- a Common life together....
In an institution I play a role – in a family I have a claim
on all
In an institution relationships are neutral – in a family
they can and need not to be
In an institution relationships are contractual – in a family
we do whatever love demands
In an institution there are rules and laws – in a family its
by custom
In an institution our worth = our contribution - in a family our worth is being
At the conclusion of this keynote - due to the fact my brain was overheating - I took some time off to try and mull all I'd heard so far.
Therefore I don't have any notes of the seminars after the afternoon keynote.
Therefore I don't have any notes of the seminars after the afternoon keynote.
Friday, 18 July 2014
#hof2014 - household of faith conference - blog about 1st day of conference
here is my post on the 1st day and here is my post on the 2nd day and here is my post on the 3rd day.
Please comment to add to the notes if you want to.
Day 1 Thursday
Keynote 1 - Rev Dr John Westerhoff – The Making of Disciples
– we are our stories – the church’s continual quest to transmit, enhance and
enliven its faith in the Gospel.
“Christians are story formed people”.
John’s memories of 50+ years striving to answer the question, will the
next generation have faith?
My notes from John's reflections are a series of quotes as he walked us through his reflections. Here they are:
- To understand each other we need to understand each other's stories - our stories are what has happened to us which is part of how we got to where we are - and what leads us to reach the conclusions we do.
- Each of us is a mystery even to ourselves
- Preach when you teach and teach when you preach
- A good question for students - what 3 questions are you now asking that you weren't when you started this course and how will you answer them in the next 5 years?
- You never hear what I say, you only hear what you choose to - so if you are upset about what you thought I said - think through why
- Frame the right questions to imagine alternatives to where we are
- It is an error to think there is only 1 approach - people organise life in all kinds of ways
- God won't judge us for how our children turn out - he will for how we did
- Revelation is always being opened and closed - rather than a static one off
Then after that 1st keynote, and a coffee break - various Seminars were held at same time.
I went to Bishop John Butler's on Church of England
perspectives on Household of Faith
- Now, @BishopPaulB a whistle stop tour of recent church history & engagement with children and families #hof2014 pic.twitter.com/s4sUUbgUr6
Household of Faith
Here are my notes
1960's - Family Communion (Catholic) and Family Worship (Evangelical) - bought into cognitive development theory. Failed to take account of changing family structures
1980's - All Age - sought to address perceptions of Family as only for parents and their children. But whatever generation people come from - some will like the approaches used in all age - (choral, drama, whatever) - and some won't. The all age approach was good at learning styles and worship encouraging prayer across ages
Community - worshipping community at the heart of serving its local community
Household - given quick history summary above - household recognises that there can be many different types of people and also ties into the idea of the church as a house with all sorts in it. But it does rely on those in the house having some connection.
Parish - we are here for everybody in this community. So we need to break out of the image that we are only here for those who come through the door. Also pray for and serve schools (not just assemblies - run the gardening club)
- "97% of non statutory work with under 5s in the UK is done on church premises" Amazing community support... @BishopPaulB #hof2014
Alan Charter
If anybody has a summary of the other seminar I could insert into this post please let me know. It was by Mary Hawkes on There is a season – using the church year as a way of nurturing faith in households (whether or not the household has children)
Keynote 2 – Rev Dr John Westerhoff – Contemporary Challenges
– Striving to understand the historical cultural and social context in which we
live and engage in the making of Christians
Culture = learned/shared understanding of life. How to approach our culture options ....
1) enter into it - adapt our faith to it - but this isn't faithful
2) withdraw from it - provide a witness to it - equally isn't faithful
3) be in the world but not part of it - so speak in the language of the culture to transform it. This is difficult as if we are in it then we can easily be of it - so our ability to transform it is compromised - but this is still the better way
But to do so we need to take a bi-culturalism approach - the blending of 2 cultures where we maintain the uniqueness of the 1st
Western culture can be characterised as periods of history where there is a dominant culture with periods between where culture is in transition. E.g.
- 1st 4 centuries - apolistic - pre Christendom
- 5th century - Christendom
- 10th century - Middle Ages - Age of Faith
- 16th century - Enlightenment - age of reason - start of modernity
- 21st century - a period of transition - we behave as if Christendom still exists - but it doesn't This period is most similar to the 1st 4 centuries. Similar but not the same.
- Westerhoff talking on how the church is in period of transition: a new era in Christianity will emerge. #hof2014
Children&Youth
So our approach to baptism and confirmation is changing as the significance of it changes as does the expectations of it (e.g. - will it lead to a significant behaviour change OR is it simply a rite of passage to communion). So we need to rethink how we initiate people into our community.
With the intellectual way of thinking - faith is now belief so the church becomes anti intellectual. We have lost out on the intuitive approach which was nurtured by arts. And we have lost the art of praying of scripture as the intellectual approach triumphs - and a cause and effect approach to the universe means mystery is eliminated.
If technology ='s progress and control of our world then our definition of people becomes functional - they are what they do. So there is less concern about being (reminded me of that saying we are human beings not human doings).
In such an approach faith or belief becomes defined as a perception of how we see/envisage the world. And justice moves from being getting what you need to getting what you deserve
Whereas actually belief is a moral truth taught whereas faith is a character formed.
So going back to the 21st century as being a period of transition - we know what it is being transformed from. But we don't know what it is being transformed into. We are unsure. We would like to be sure - but can't be - so maybe its more honest to say we are not in control.
- "We aren't called to make a difference in the world but to live in the difference that God is making" #hof2014
Pete Maidment - Re-found the church on the story that we inhabit God’s world, not ours, join in with God’s activity in God’s world #HoF2014
Steve Kersys - #hof2014 when freedom and responsibility are in conflict, responsibility must rule. Loads to think about.
We are totally dependent on God (Our nature not choice) yet God choose to be dependent on us (God's choice not nature)
Then after that some Seminars held at the same time. I went to Lucy Moore's on Messy Church Theology – Why and how
is the all age church community providing a gathered and dispersed household of
faith for families
- Lucy in full flow with infectious enthusiasm #hof2014 pic.twitter.com/IxwEXX8agV
Kay Morgan-Gurr
Lucy described the Messy church journey as being a bit like going on a walk with a big dog where it drags you where it wants to go and you hang on
And Messy church as a form of all age church to enjoy coming together - usually monthly - with
a) a warm intentional welcome (tea, juice, biscuits, board games, word searches) - purpose to provide an easy way in to chat and get to know each other;
b) an intro and welcome
c) several activities in a space - e.g. on theme of Samson story - where people show others how to do the activity - the people choose which and how much of the activities they do - and the activities are used to open up the story and for people to get to know each other
d) all together 15 minutes of the story/song/prayer - as participative as possible
e) a meal together
What are we trying to do with this? Answer questions about what God is like, what the Kingdom is like, what context is best for nurturing faith - for transformation of belief, to grow faith as best can in long term, to be all ages in community together
Households - even if people come on their own they come into our church family
- Lucy Moore, #hof2014, which words relate to church, which to work, which to play? Which do you identify with? pic.twitter.com/kAjxkD5gMu
5 values of messy church
1) christ centred - and all the messiness and interaction with those on the margins that means
2) creative
3) celebratory - a party
4) all age - all parts of the body
5) hospitality
Lincoln Harvey quote - ‘when we play – unnecessarily but meaningfully – we are living out our deepest identity as unnecessary but meaningful creatures. Simply put, we reverberate with ourselves. We chime with our being.’
Weaknesses of messy church - not formal intentional learning.
If anybody has a summary of the other seminars held at the same time as the Messy Church one that I could insert into this post please let me know.
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