english

found in the Rev. Dr Colin Morris' bbc radio 4 thought for the day here and here with some adjustments and additions

in the old days, a little Englander would:

- step out of his pyjamas (a garment of East Indies origin)

- shave with a razor (made from an alloy discovered in Turkesta)

- wash with soap (1st used by the ancient Gauls)

- have breakfast (Israeli oranges, a French croissant with a dab of Danish butter and cup of Kenyan coffee or Indian tea)

- dons a suit (a form of dress originally native to the Russian steppes)

- on his way to the station in his volvo (a car made in sweden)

- he calls at the shop of Mr Patel (who by the way was born in Birmingham) for a newspaper (set out in Arabic characters on a Chinese innovation, paper, by means of a German process, printing)

 - having parked the car he dashes for the train, (the English did invent them though the chances are it was manufactured somewhere else, and is owned by a foreign company)

 - he settles back with his paper, turning to the sports news. He's pleased that the French manager of his team has chosen a strong line-up for Saturday's match, including Toure, Vela, Fabriegas, and Eduardo

- as he gets to work at his bank (owned by americans and financed by the chinese)

- he snorts with disgust at the antics of those dreadful foreigners and the EU and he thanks a Hebrew God in an Indo-European language that he was English (after Angle, a province of Schleswig-Holstein)