- give me advice
- tell me why i shouldn't feel that way
- feel you need to do something to solve my problems
- can't accept i feel what i feel no matter how irrational
- cause me to focus on convincing you rather than understanding my own issues
- don't see things from my point of view
- are not acknowledging or responding to me or my body language, feelings, meanings, silences
- are judging me, correcting me, sorting me out
- have a focus - its just not on me
- are in a hurry
- ask so many questions it feels like an interrogation
- are doing something else whilst you listen to me
- tell your own story
- jump in to reassure me
- keep on interrupting me
summarised from materials found here from 2010 conference and in particular the handouts for the April 16 breakout session on listening in a world of talk by linda murchinson & mary zahl
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